Okay, I know CB radios are pretty much obsolete. However, they are still useful…in theory.

This project has been driving me crazy. I didn’t make any video of the installation process because I thought it would be a quick plug-n-play option for the bus. When I got the bus, it had all the infrastructure for a CB radio to be installed. The only thing missing was the radio itself. The antenna was already wired up, and the power was already run to the spot where I assume a CB radio used to be. Unfortunately, it wasn’t nearly that easy.

The CB radio wasn’t a high priority, so I put it on my Christmas wishlist and decided I would install it if I got one for free. Lo and behold, my girlfriend’s mom got me the radio I requested on my wishlist. I wired it in and turned it on, and was excited to be picking up some local signals. To be sure I didn’t mess anything up, though, I decided to read the manual and make sure I was doing it right.

For those that don’t know, CB radios and antennas require tuning. I did not know this. My radio comes with the ability to test my antenna to see if it’s a good match. Unfortunately, I kept getting error messages and warning signs. So, I took to the internet to troubleshoot what was going on. Either my antenna or my coaxial cable needed to be replaced, and I needed something I could tune.

I started with the easy part and changed out the coaxial cable that runs between the antenna and the transmitter. Same error. After some hemming and hawing, I decided that it was worth paying for a new antenna to make my free radio work. I installed the new antenna in a better position on the roof (according to what I had learned) and immediately started receiving a much clearer signal. Problem solved, right? Wrong. The antenna was properly matched, but for some reason, my standing wave ratio (SWR) was either off the charts too high or so low it wasn’t registering. I read up on tuning until I became an expert, but I couldn’t dial it in with my radio’s on-board SWR meter.

A quick note about SWR: The SWR meter measures the amount of energy that is being output from your transmitter vs how much of that energy is being reflected back as electrical heat. Ideally, you want your radio transmitter to transmit energy in the form of radio waves. If your antenna is not properly tuned, however, you might end up reflecting that energy back in the form of heat, and frying your transmitter. Receiving is fine, but you could damage your transmitter while trying to transmit with an untuned antenna. The SWR meter compares how much energy you are outputting to how much is being reflected back. An SWR below 2:1 is decent. The lower the better. 3:1 is extremely bad. No matter how I tuned my antenna, I couldn’t find anything between 1:1 or 3:1. What’s worse, if it’s off the charts too high, the radio would automatically protect itself by restarting, so my radio wouldn’t stay on.

After some more research, I discovered that SWR meters that are built in to CB radios tend to be kind of junky and inaccurate. But, this can be remedied by using an external SWR meter!

I decided to do a sanity check with an expert. I went to a local shop called CB Radio World. The place is basically a shack built in the middle of a large plot of land that is covered in dead cars. I parked in the driveway and walked into the store, through the back shop area. The guy working there followed me in. I felt like I was in somebody’s secret electrical lab. The guy behind the counter was a skinny, grizzled looking dude with a salt and pepper beard. He had a lanyard around his neck with three radios hanging from it, all tuned to different channels. I knew I was in the right place. Anyway, I tell the guy my whole story about troubleshooting my system and say that I think I need an SWR meter. He says that’s probably what I need, but he doesn’t have any in stock. However, in the course of our conversation it does come up that the new antenna I bought is probably making my bus stand over the standard highway height clearance limit. It’s not a big deal, since the antenna whip is flexible, but god damn it, if I’m going to do this…I’m going to do it right. I buy another shorter antenna with a spring and I’m off on my way, back through the shop of mangled radio equipment, on my way to my car.

In the driveway I run into some other grizzled old guy. He asks me if I like oysters. I love oysters, so the guy hands me a half-dozen oysters that he had harvested that morning at his property on Vashon Island…or so he says. I take the oysters and I’m back on the road.

I try several electronics stores and super-marts trying to find an SWR meter. Nobody knows what they are. After explaining that it’s for a CB radio, they say they don’t carry anything like that. Nobody even knows where to point me. So…off to the internet…again.

I threw down some more money and got a cheap external SWR meter shipped to my house. I waited about a week until it came, but it didn’t have a jumper coaxial cable to connect it into the signal chain of my antenna. So, I had a coaxial “jumper” ordered and did expensive overnight shipping because at this point the CB was driving me crazy and I just wanted the project to be over with. I plug it in and turn everything on and the meter doesn’t move. I adjust the antenna, still nothing. Also, I’m not getting any signal. What the hell? Either the jumper is messed up, or the SWR meter is toast, or I’ve ruined my radio.

I decided to order another SWR meter to be sure. I ordered a different brand and wait another week for it to come in the mail. This one came with a jumper. I plug it in, and it’s working! I can actually read my SWR! The first SWR meter was faulty. The readings on the working SWR meter are WAY off from what I was getting on the radio’s built-in. Now I’m going from the roof of the bus, to the cab, testing and retesting, trying to get a properly-tuned signal. I must have climbed up and down about 50 times until I got something workable.

Finally, after all that, I’m ready to try it out. I turn it on and sit there, listening to the radio for a solid 15 minutes. I hear some people talking, but I don’t know how to interject. I don’t know how to talk CB. I listen for a while, trying to catch on to the lingo, before giving up and consulting the internet again. After some digging, I find a good script to ask for a radio check. I go out to the cab and turn it on, but the only signals I can hear are communications between a trucker with an oversize load, and his pilot car. I don’t want to interject and cause some kind of horrific car accident, so I turn to channel 19. 19 is the go-to party line for when you’re looking for a conversation…or at least it was in the 70s. I start transmitting my script into the ether: “One-niner, one-niner, this is Woolly Mammoth, can I get a rig check.” Nothing. “One-Niner, can I get a rig check. How are you reading me one-nine?” Nothing.

Suddenly I remember that I own a CB scanner! In my attic I have a really old multi-band radio that is used for passively listening in on radio chatter across many different bands. It can listen to CB! I go get it, plug it in and give it a go. I can’t tell if I can hear myself in the radio, or if it’s the echo in the bus. Without anybody else around to help, I decided to make the video below to test it out. Sure enough, I’m transmitting loud and clear…at least across the yard.

So was it worth it? I don’t know. I know I can transmit and receive, but there doesn’t seem to be many people on the airwaves. CB is definitely not mainstream anymore. On the one hand, I now have access to citizen-band radio in case of emergency, or to keep me company on the open road. On the other hand, I spent around $200 on equipment, trying to make my free gift work…and there doesn’t seem to be anybody around to enjoy it with. We’ll see if it ever comes in handy.